


The Road Not Chosen

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Ben Solo Has Nightmares, Father-Son Relationship, Fix-It, Flirting, Good Parent Leia Organa, Good Uncle Luke Skywalker, Insomniac Ben Solo, Insomniac Poe Dameron, Jedi Ben Solo, Luke Skywalker Is Not an Asshole, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship, POV Ben Solo, POV Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Has Nightmares, Poe Dameron Has PTSD, Resistance Member Ben Solo, Romantic Tension, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Space Mom Leia Organa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-07 03:38:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15900117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben Solo never falls to the Dark Side, and joins the Resistance.





	1. Coruscant

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

 The moment that Ben’s shuttle landed and Ben disembarked was the moment that Poe practically came sprinting across the platform towards him, BB-8 in tow. 

They embraced tightly, and it was then that Poe couldn’t help but notice — Ben had gotten quite big, quite muscular. He saw Ben when he could, thanks to his missions taking time away from Yavin, but he definitely hadn’t thought that Ben would get this muscular, this big. Even being squeezed against Ben’s chest, it felt nice, almost like Poe was shielded from the galaxy for a moment. 

Eventually they drew away, and Poe beamed at him. “It’s so good to see you, Ben.” A beat. “You’ve really sprouted.” 

“Have I?” Ben said. He looked down at himself, almost as if in some bewilderment and confusion. “I guess I have.” He smiled, and Poe could have sworn that when he smiled, it was like a radiant sun. 

 “Stars, I’ve missed you,” Poe said. “How have you been, Ben?”

Ben caught him up to speed, and even as they walked along Coruscant’s platforms (Poe swore the whole planet was like one big city), there was something about being in Ben’s company that honestly, just felt like home. 

***

They walked along Coruscant’s platform, and Ben couldn’t help but notice the little details — the way that Poe laughed, the way he smiled, the little crinkles around his eyes...

 _You’ve just grown more beautiful,_ Ben couldn’t help but think. Poe had always been more confident than him, more graceful, or so it seemed to Ben and as Poe had gotten older, Ben swore that he became more beautiful. Ben, meanwhile, only got more awkward and probably more goofy-looking. He couldn’t help but envy Poe in places, and if Poe hadn’t been so kind and warm and just generally a selfless being, Ben would have found it easy to hate him. But instead, he found, he loved him. 

He was everything that Ben could never be, and Ben loved him for it. 

They walked along the platform of Coruscant, and Poe turned to look at Ben. “Careful,” he said. “One wrong step and you’ll fall for hours.”

”I’ll be careful,” Ben said with a slight smile. 

“Good. Though I wouldn’t exactly be complaining if I had to save a Jedi in distress.”

”I am not,” Ben said, mock-offendedly, “A Jedi in distress.” A beat. “Though I wouldn’t complain if you saved me.”

”Good,” Poe said. He grinned, and somehow he became even more beautiful, almost angelic in nature. “Because I have a feeling I’ll be saving you quite a bit.”

”So soon?” Ben said. 

Poe grinned. “Definitely.”

Ben laughed, softly. “I missed you, you know.”

”So did I.” Poe’s smile became softer. “It’s good to have you here. I have a feeling that with you, we could definitely turn the tide a bit.”

”I’m not that good.”

”You sell yourself short, Ben.” Poe smiled even as he spoke. “Really, truly. I haven’t seen you much in training, but from what I have seen, you’re good.”

***

To say that General Organa was surprised at Ben’s presence was one way of putting it. The way she looked at Ben, she obviously hadn’t been expecting him to even show up. Then, “Ben, I thought you were training.”

”I was,” Ben said. “I just want to help where I can. Uncle Luke’s on his way; he’s also planning on helping.”

Leia took a deep breath. “That’s...wonderful news,” she said. “Stars knows we could use all the help we can get.”

”Definitely.” Ben said. 

“What I’m worried about, Ben, is that your training’s not quite complete,” Leia said. “I mean, I don’t want to get you killed.”

”I could always train with my uncle in between missions.”

Leia pauses. “That’s not a bad idea,” she said. “I just don’t want you to get killed.”

”I won’t,” Ben said, and deep inside, he hoped it was a promise that he could keep. 


	2. Resistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has a heart-to-heart with Leia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Call it fixing a plot hole in the TFA novelization or something that I found infuriating — how Leia handled the Snoke situation. I mean, if Leia were even remotely in character in that moment (and don’t get me wrong, I still love the novel, but that bit was made of stupid), she would have strangled Snoke for even thinking of touching her son. I think Leia was incredibly ineffectual in terms of dealing with the fact this creep was stalking her son (I mean, you have a creep stalking your son; you decide to send him away to his uncle, which not only does nothing to solve the problem, but also causes likely unintentional trauma), so I figured I’d find a way to fix the plot hole/OOC moment a little through Leia explaining some stuff to Ben and telling him about Snoke. (God, I wish it had been this way)

Leia Organa’s ship came out of hyperspace at D’Qar and they glided into the planet, a simple green planet that honestly, Ben thought, was the perfect place to have a Resistance Base because no one would really expect something like this. Even as they landed, a landing official waving them in, Ben had to say they had picked a good spot. 

They disembarked, and a blond girl with her hair in buns headed over towards Leia, shook her hand. “General.”

”Lieutenant,” Leia said. “This is our new recruit, Ben. My son.”

The young woman stared at him for a moment before going, “I — I didn’t know your son was a Jedi. It’s good to meet you, Ben.”

”You too.” 

“Ben, this is Lieutenant Kaydel Ko Connix,” Leia said. “She’s just part of the Resistance. Our numbers aren’t on the First Order’s level, but we have a good amount. More importantly, they say volumes about how many people are willing to come together in order to stop tyranny.”

”It is remarkable,” Ben said. Then, “How does the Republic feel about it?”

Leia sighed. “I wish I could say I had good news regarding the Republic’s stance on things, but they just don’t take the First Order seriously. They see the First Order as nothing. I suppose it doesn’t help that the First Order hasn’t directly attacked the Republic yet. They’re not as obvious and public as the Empire was, which only makes them more dangerous.”

”So what you’re saying is,” Ben said, “The Republic is run by idiots.”

Leia coughed; it sounded like she was trying to not laugh. “It’s rude to say, but unfortunately, there is truth in your words.”

”Of course,” Ben said. “I mean, I’ve seen...” He trailed off. “Mom,” he said, “If we talked about this in private, would it help?”

”If you need to, Ben.”

It was in private that Ben told her everything. About the visions, about the nightmares. Leia listened, and the look of shock and heartbreak on her face was almost vindicating. 

Finally, she said, “Ben, I’m so sorry. I had no idea this was going on. I knew that _he_ was after you, but I thought with Luke you’d be safe.”

”You knew?” Ben said. “Why didn’t you tell me who he was?”

”I didn’t know, Ben. In all honesty, I haven’t seen his face; I’ve only felt his presence, and even then, it’s not perfect.” Leia sighed. “I didn’t know where to track him; I thought you would be safe with Luke. I didn’t think his influence reached that far.”

Ben sighed. “So it wasn’t because I was ‘bad’?” Even as he spoke, Poe laid a hand on his shoulder. It was a reassuring hand, Ben couldn’t help but think. He smiled faintly at Poe. 

“Ben, of course not,” Leia said. “I thought I was protecting you. I thought Luke could keep you safe where I couldn’t.”

It was odd, but somehow, Ben thought, he believed her. 

“There’s nothing I can do to change the past,” Leia said, “But hopefully we can build a better future. Together.”

And Ben knew he could definitely get onboard with that. 


	3. Nights Like These

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family reunites, and Ben and Poe stay up late playing sabaac.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Luke’s ship came out of hyperspace later on, and he met up with Leia, Ben and Han. Even seeing Ben, Han’s face seemed to light up, and Ben swore one of his talents was making certain that Ben felt like the center of Han’s galaxy. 

“We’re going to give the First Order hell,” Han said. “And that’s a promise.”

Ben nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “We really will.”

***

Ben’s room was a relatively simple place to stay, with the basic necessities. It wasn’t necessarily a suite, but it was home nonetheless. At least, Ben could picture it being home. Even standing in the doorway of it, Ben looked over it, over the bed, over just about everything. 

It could work, actually. 

“It’s not much,” Poe said next to him, “But it’s home.”

Ben smiled. “It’s a good place,” he said. 

Poe sighed. “I better let you get settled in — ’’

”Actually,” Ben said, “I think you could stay for a while longer. Help me get settled in.”

He’d told Uncle Luke about the nightmares, but he hadn’t told Poe yet. Maybe he could tell him. 

It was over a game of sabaac that they talked.  Ben told him a bit about the nightmares, and Poe’s brow furrowed. “How long have you been having them?”

”Since before we met.” Ben ran a hand through his hair. “I know that they mostly crop up when I’m stressed, or...any time I close my eyes, really. Crazy thing is that I swear it’s like a puzzle, like it’s trying to show me something...”

”Maybe...” Poe bit his lip. “Maybe you could talk to Doctor Kalonia on base? She could prescribe some medicine that could help. Or get you someone to talk to.”

”I’ve never gone to therapy before.”

”I started seeing one pretty recently,” Poe said. “Because...it’s kind of rough out there, Ben. It really is. Some of the stuff I saw...”

”I’m sorry,” Ben said. 

“It could never be your fault. You...” Poe smiled. “Honestly, just playing sabaac with you helps.”

”Glad I can help,” Ben said. He put down another card, only for Poe to smile a bit and one-up him. 

They played into the night, and Ben couldn’t help but focus on Poe’s face, the warmth of his eyes. They talked, occasionally laughed together, and Ben felt a certain ease during the night he couldn’t say happened often. He decided he wanted to keep it, if at all possible. 


	4. Leavetaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Poe prepare for their first mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

To say the next morning was rough was something of an understatement for Ben. Staying up late last night had really done a number on him, and even at breakfast, he found that there was not enough caf in the galaxy for how tired he was. 

At least he wasn’t alone. Poe definitely seemed to be downing his share of caf too. 

“Are you sure that drinking so much caf won’t kill you?” Kare Kun said. 

“Pretty sure,” Ben said. “Alternatively, you could give a eulogy for both of us.”

Kare’s lips twitched a bit. “That would be...interesting.”

”Yeah.” Ben smiled; somehow, he thought, it was like his true self wasn’t buried under layers of am-I-good-enough. It was enough, completely and utterly. 

It was after breakfast that Ben was assigned to Tallissan Lintra’s squadron, Blue Squadron (though Blue Leader insisted on being called Tallie). Tallie was more than friendly towards him, though Ben did wish she wouldn’t make a big deal out of him being a Solo. He really wasn’t that good of a Solo. Even resisting the Dark Side he couldn’t have done without his uncle’s help. 

Leia sent them on their missions, and before they left, Ben swore that Poe was looking him up and down. Ben sighed. “This doesn’t look good on me, I know...”

”No, it suits you.” Poe smiled as he spoke. “Really really."

”Thanks. You...you look good too.”

”Good luck on your mission, Ben. You’ll do great.”

”So will you.”

They had to leave, but Ben could only hope they’d both do well on the mission, no matter what the cost. 


End file.
